Ever since “Antonio” from Wings became “Monk”, I’ve had a hard time accepting character actors in other roles.  I’m perfectly at ease watching major movie stars transition from one character to another because there is a certain contract we enter into with them.  We agree to suspend our disbelief.  We think we know them, so it’s easy for us to pretend we don’t.

This doesn’t work with character actors because we identify them with the character.  Our memory knows them as so-and-so.  The ugly girl from Clueless will always be the ugly girl from Clueless.  Costanza will always be Costanza and Al Bundy will never be a rich man.  Which is why all the actors from The Wire will have a hell of a time finding new roles.  I’ve already spotted Bunny and Rawls on other shows.  I saw Cool Lester Smooth on some BBC drama.  I hear Michael is on the new 90210 (now that’s scary).

So what to do with them?  Well, most people won’t care or won’t remember (obviously the cast of the Wire is a bit different).  But what about people like me who are cursed with a mind like a steel trap – a trap that catches nothing but worthless trivia?  How do you fool them?  

The answer is a commune for retired character actors.  We could just ship them there at the end of their role(s).  Don’t think gulag.  Think more along the lines of a Florida or a Palm Springs, complete with shuffleboard and early bird specials.  They could put on productions of “Bye, Bye Birdie” and “Grease”.  They could live out a quiet life and become just another search on deadoralive.com.