I was caught in a situation today that I am sure is familiar to many.  Faced with some young person trying to change the world with a pen and a clipboard, I had to think of a way to avoid communication.  Naturally I pulled out my cell phone and commenced the fake phone call.  It worked like a charm.

The fake phone call is a consistent winner.  Developed off of the fake conversation (which is an art unto itself), the fake phone call succeeds on two fronts: making you look busy and making you look popular.  Not only are you busy, but you’re busy because you are talking to other important people.  Ha!

All this got me to thinking about the nature of avoidance and the objects and techniques we employ in this noble pursuit.  We here in 2009 are the beneficiaries of progress.  It wasn’t all that long ago that the fake phone call would’ve been an impossibility.  In the old days a strategic fake sneeze or coughing fit worked, but it required a lot more skill and timing to make it work smoothly.

The fake conversation has been around for millennia and is great when two or more are trying to avoid some foe.  When alone (and seated) a book is great for looking occupied.  And, hey, you might actually read it.  Digital cameras (again, progress) are great because you can pretend to be absorbed by all the great photos you’ve taken.

I’m looking forward to the holographic fake friend.  You could pull them out when you need some quick back-up.  You could make them ugly or a total goofball, a foil for every occasion.

If all this sounds anti-social, well it is.  But these situations are the exception to the rule.  Usually encountering new people is fun and interesting, unless of course, they aren’t fun or interesting.  And that’s when it is time to dig into your bag of tricks.